Describe a dull party that you attended

DESCRIBE A DULL PARTY THAT YOU ATTENDED

The minute I stepped into the house, I realised that it was a mistake to have come. I was half an hour late and I was rehearsing how to apologize to Sam, whom I had met while on a tour. I did not have to as I was the first to arrive and to make matters worse, Sam was only half dressed. He was wearing a shirt with a tie but was in a sarong: He was ironing his trousers. He grinned his welcome and asked me to make myself at home. Then I met his crabby sister. I had been warned about her: She hated half the world — all the members of the male sex. She gave me a cold look. I rolled my eyes to heaven and realised that I should have stayed at home and watched Robocop.

As I was being interrogated by Sam’s sister, the guests began to arrive. They were the dullest bunch I had ever met. All seemed to be the studious sort and the most exciting thing they could talk about was ‘Today in Parliament’. Then the disc jockey started playing his music and telling his dry jokes. The man had absolutely no idea what a joke was and even less about what good music was. I learnt later that this was his debut as a disc jockey. I was sure that it would be his last performance as well.

Strangely enough, Crabby asked me to dance. Well, I realised her game when she was on the dance floor: She wanted to lead and did. I felt as if I was dancing with a cross between an elephant and a he-bear. She Could not dance to save her life. At the end of the dance, she escorted me to a chair and left after thanking me. It was only then did I realise that that’s what I should have done — to her. Most of the other chaps did not dance – as they obviously did not know how. Also, there were only three girls to about twelve boys. So all they did was stand around and stare at people who did dance.

That was it. I decided to get out of there. I inched my way to the door and slipped out. I ran smack into Sam and Crabby. “We’re going to serve dinner,” they announced. I smiled and started to say something about my stomach being sensitive when Crabby cut me short. ”Our food not good enough for you huh?” she said sternly. I swallowed and smiled and said with a big grin, “I won’t miss it for the world.” The next thing I knew, a queue was forming. I took my time and joined the end. Fortune smiled at me: When I reached the food table, there was no more food. Sam was all apology and even Crabby looked sorry. I smiled bravely and said that I would snatch a bite from the hawkers’ centre and be back. I looked about and saw all the intellectuals doing what they were obviously best at – guzzling food. Then I smiled broadly at all of them. They smiled back at me through their food. I left.

Happily I went to the hawkers’ centre and ate a plate: of mee goreng. Of course I did not go back to the party. I am not dumb. My only regret was that I missed Robocop.

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