For My Mother

More than anything in the world I wanted to please her. She was the most important person in my life. Her smile of approval meant everything to me. Pleasing her came habitually to me. I just learnt to look at everything from one point: If she approved, it was good; if she did not, it was bad. It was difficult to please my mother.She set high standards for herself and me, her only daughter. My lifestyle was one oriented towards achievement. Since my father died, my mother and I devoted ourselves to each other.

One day she came to me with a smile and handed over a form. It was the entry form for a teenage beauly contest. I laughed thinking it was a joke. The serious look on her face told me that she was not joking. I swallowed. I never thought that I was the type to win a beauty contest. It became apparent to me that she was on one of those trips where she wanted me to succeed at something to make up for her lack of success in that area. In desperation I even pointed out that the contest was near my examinations and that it would take away a lot of time that should be spent in studying. Next thing I knew, she was agreeing with me, but the sad look on her face made me hug her and tell her that I would do it for her. She was all smiles again.

During the next two months there was a lot of preparation for the contest. I was out to win of course;I always was. As expected, I won the first round and was selected based on my photograph and my measurements. What followed after that was a nightmare. There were so many rehearsals and photographing sessions. I had to use up so much of my time that, for the first time in my life, I had no time to study or even do homework.

Time flew and I went from stage to stage until I was at the finals. The finals of my examinations were a week after my beauty contest. I resolved to make up for all the lost time by mugging for one week. On the night of the contest my mother was seated in the front row. She looked tense. I winked at her. When the results were announced a thrill ran through me as I learnt that I had won the first prize. Deep within I heaved a sigh of relief. I could now study in peace. That was the most exciting day of my life. More than anything else, I had made my mother proud of me. I was happy.

The next week was my week of study, but such was not to be. There were so many radio, TV and press interviews and so many other functions that I could not miss. I did not have time even to touch my books, let alone study. I was in despair, and so was my mother who kept encouraging me, but no one else cared. They were fussing so much over me and the oganisers acted as if they owned me. As may be expected I managed to just skim through the examinations. It was a wonder that I passed at all, It was only then that it came to my mother’s realisation that she was the cause of it all. She said nothing; just hugged me and cried and cried. I cried with her.

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