Looking over your whole life, what incident do you remember ditinctly and why?

THE SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE

The incident that stands out most distinctly in my mind is not a pleasant one, but the saddest in my life: The passing of my beloved grandmother. The incident has made such an impression on my life that I can remember the vivid details whenever I recall what happened.

She was my mother’s mother and had gone through a hard time all her life; made harder by 40 years of widowhood. She was a stern disciplinarian according to my mother, but completely spoiled all us grandchildren. She had 13 grandchildren and everyone of us is prepared to swear that we were her favourite.

She had been terminally ill for about a year and knew all about her illness. She used to talk about death playfully: ‘If I live I have all of you; if I die I have your grandfather and I have a lot to say to that old man.’ Used to be her favourite line. I have never met a person more indifferent to death than my grandmother. She neither feared it nor welcomed it: She was ready for it whenever it would come, that was all.

She tidied up all her affairs and refused to stay in a hospital. Grandma stayed with us, and her children, my mother and my uncles, employed a nurse to stay with her during the day. A doctor visited her every other day. During the nights, the whole family was around her. In fact I remember that during the year of her illness, our entire lives revolved around her. She still told us stories; especially stories of our parents and the silly things they did as children.

On the day she was going to die, a Sunday, she called her eldest son, my eldest uncle, and told him that she would die that day and that she wanted to see her whole family. Within minutes everyone arrived. Calmly she lay there and told all of us to be good children, and assured us that she would be watching from wherever she was. That whole day she had some difficulty in breathing and at night, she became worse. She slipped into a coma at about 10:00 pm and her breathing slowed down very much. The doctor told us to expect the worse. My mother, who is trained in nursing, held her legs to monitor her pulse.

All of us, her children and grandchildren, held some part of her. We wanted to be with her to the end: We knew that she would have liked that. Her breathing became gradually slower and slower. Suddenly, at about 1:00 am, my mother cried out and I noticed that Grandma’s breath-

Ing had stopped: She had left us. Silently I held my grandmother’s hands and whispered a prayer to the Great Being to accept her in His/Her kingdom. Then I went out to the hall to reconcile myself to my great loss. Till now, after seven years, I still haven’t. No matter what the religious leaders and philosophers say, you just don’t reconcile yourself to the death of someone you love so much. You can’t.

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